the milkman happens to live nearby..

i was recently working a little late for some moonlighting hours when i was approached by my chief resident, mitch.  he asked me how i'd been, yada yada, and mentioned that he had run into jimmy just the other night when they were doing a lady's surgery late together...

imagine the scenario.. the woman may have been portrayed as somewhat portly.  maybe 5'1".  maybe 350#.  you know, the usual down here.  and maybe the type of surgery dictated that she be face-down...

well, now imagine if they had some trouble making the habitus meet the surgical table.  boobies afloppin - to be specific.  and while mitch is one of the most stellar anesthesiologists to hit uab, he does not take on extraneous responsibilities, namely he refuses to be involved in most boob placement maneuvers.

therefore this job may have just landed upon my adorable jimmy.  and he tends to bare-hand things.  he hates to waste gloves, he says.  so while he was adamantly trying to squeeze her triple G bosoms into the longitudinal table bars, he got quite a handful... of milk.

jimmy's always said in his best alabama accent ... "ain't nobody ever got HIV through the skin" - unfortunately mother milk doesn't follow the same unspoken rules as HIV does.

yes, a little lactation goes a long way.  retching on his way out of the room he may have proceeded to mutter that this isn't his job.  he also might've informed everyone that he will no longer work at uab.  anesthesia will have to take on the responsibility of positioning all patients.

and hence the nickname, the milkman.

oh - but wait! he's not alone.  Sara Mullins has way too much time, btw.  But props to her for the pickup.  I would've never ever been so privy to such pertinent newsworthy events.

Woman Arrested After Allegedly Spraying Deputies With Breast Milk

Monday,  June 27, 2011 5:48 AM

Updated: Monday,  June 27, 2011 5:39 PM

WBNS-10TV

DELAWARE, Ohio — A woman faces several charges after she allegedly sprayed deputies with breast milk as they tried to detain her over the weekend.

The incident occurred early Saturday morning near the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center on Sawmill Parkway.

According to the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to the area after receiving calls about a domestic dispute.  When they arrived, a man told them that he had been attending a wedding at the facility with his wife, who had gotten drunk and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.

Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman, who was identified as Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, but she refused to cooperate.

"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.

The deputies were eventually able to remove Robinette from the car and arrest her, Davis said.

She was later charged with domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Robinette, who pleaded not guilty to the charges, was released from custody on her own recognizance following a video arraignment on Monday, 10TV News reported.

Before her release, Robinette, a teacher employed at a charter school, apologized for what occurred.

"I have no criminal record; I take these charges very seriously and I absolutely intend to seek help for substance abuse with alcohol because alcoholism does run in my family," Robinette said.